"Then she goes and falls in love and throws it all away"

I'm not exactly sure where this blog is going to end up. I have a lot on my mind and a lot I want to write about.
While I'm not sure where it's going to end up, I can tell you where it's going to start.
My new job has made me anti-social. I'm not sure it's much of a problem because it's also made me more responsible. I'm working a real 9-5 job. Sure, it's really 12-830, but this is one of those jobs that could turn into a career.
Which segues beautifully into my next subject. I don't think I'm going to be around for it to turn into a career. I'm not talking about dying anytime soon (though my demise is eminent with all the people in my row being sick), but I'm moving. Things are really falling into place with this plan to move back to Utah. I don't think it's by coincidence. This does not segue into topic three.
I think I'm sabotaging myself. Since I've moved back to Ohio I've had the chance to be in some pretty legitimate relationships with some pretty exceptional gentlemen. Somehow I always manage to talk myself out of it after the first couple of weeks. This trend is getting taxing, and I'm starting to wonder if I even want a relationship at all. Part of me yearns for that special person to tell everything to and cuddle with in front of the fire (indulge your blogger and pretend I have a fireplace). However, when it comes to thinking about commitment...something just goes horribly wrong, and all these warning bells start going off in my head. This pattern again reared it's ugly head two weeks ago. I started getting close with a certain someone, and when he started talking commitment I started pushing away. I managed to blow that one. (To be fair though, he wasn't a good suitor for me.)
I really love my dog, Sam.
I often blog about things on both sides of my passion spectrum. Things I really LOVE and things I really detest. I like that I'm a passionate person. It leaves little room for a grey area.
Side note - why are there two spellings for the word grey(gray) and which one is appropriate and when?
With most things in my life it's either love or hate. I'm rarely indifferent (unless choosing a restaurant to go to...this proves to be an indecisive subject for me).
Two things I've felt passionate for in the positive light lately are:
1.) Autumn -and-
2.) The Gospel
I'll write on the latter first, which I understand isn't correct blogging etiquette, but let's face it this blog isn't the pinnacle of literary achievement.
I'm always so shocked at how little I know about both the Bible and the Book of Mormon. No matter how many lessons I stayed awake for in seminary or number of times I've read them, they still manage to surprise me. I love being challenged in my personal scripture study. I love coming up with questions, and I love finding answers to these questions even more. I haven't been as faithful at studying the teachings of the prophets and I've noticed. I'm not as happy, friendly, or filled with hope. Some prophet, whose name escapes me at this late hour, said something like, "I find that when I get casual with my relationship with Deity..." something about life becoming hard and what-not..."that if I immerse myself in the study of scripture and saying my prayers..." happiness returns? Something to that effect; you get the point. It's so true. It's the simple, basic things. It really is.
Back to my first listed passion. Autumn. Ah, it's my favorite season. The crisp chill in the air as the leaves change to brilliant shades of orange and scarlet. The smells and sights. It harbors my favorite holiday (Halloween). My birthday is during autumn.
Side note - are seasons proper nouns?
I just love it. Hot cocoa starts becoming a staple along with sweaters, jackets, and snuggling. Corn mazes with friends while you're piled high with parkas and scarves, and the sound the furnace makes when it kicks on. I just love it. Autumn is very refreshing for me. The atmosphere of it all puts me in a great mood.
*BONUS* I LOVE shopping for sweaters. :D
So it looks like after all was said and done today that this blog ended with sweaters. Who knew?