"It would be nice to start over again."

After reading a friend's blog I had an interesting idea for a blog of my own. It ties in nicely with some other thoughts I've been having lately.
I'm a package. There are all kinds of things that make up who I am. There are exciting parts of me, and there are boring parts of me. Some of my parts are artistic and beautiful. Other parts are clumsy and awkward. There are some parts that are great at helping other people, and there are also parts who still need help themselves. There's not just one word to define who I am.
So on to my topic. Defining moments in peoples' lives happen all the time. Someone I know just dealt with a painful defining moment. Her mother passed away. I can't believe what kind of pain she must be feeling and how she's going to deal with this. The thing is, though it's not just going to go away. That's why they're called defining moments. They happen and define who we are for the rest of our lives. We don't just get over them and move on. Sometimes we learn and grow from these defining moments, and sometimes they kick our butts. This last week I dealt with one of my defining moments. I was struggling with feelings about my divorce.
Again.
However, these were different feelings. These were feelings of disappointment in myself. Wondering "what if..." and "had I just..." I realized that while I have forgiven him, I never really forgave myself. I had thought all this time that I was just angry at what had happened, but really I had these pent up feelings of frustration at how I'd handled the situation. It took me a little while to work it out, but I think I'm finally good now.
Which brings me to point B of my topic.
Since I got back into the "dating game" I've run across several young men that've had interesting reactions to the fact that I'm divorced. One was pretty recent. We weren't dating per se, however there was mutual attraction. As I said above ^^ I was having a tough time last week dealing with these residual divorce feelings, and it was too much for this individual to take. I didn't really involve him in it at all. In fact, I did all I could to leave him out of it. I only mentioned two things to him that were barely related. He then told me that while he regretted ending things before they even began, it was just too much drama. -OR- I was too much drama. At first I berated myself for bringing this down on the poor boy. Of course it was my fault, I should've left him out of it. But wait. Aren't I a package? Isn't that defining moment part of my package? It is.
Once while feeling sorry for myself after a break up a friend told me, "He wasn't good enough for you anyway (what a good friend). You need a rock star."
True story. If you aren't willing to put up with (notice I did not say like) all parts of my package, then you're not really good enough to be with me. This isn't some superiority issue. I'm not better than you by any means. I just need someone who wants to be with me all the time. Not just the times that I'm pleasant and happy. Because things aren't always going to be great. One minute everything could be perfect, and the next things could get "dramatic." How will I know you'll be ready for those times if you aren't willing to stick by me now?
Just some food for thought.