"I just want to run to you."

I had an interesting thought last night. I was at a party with some friends. One of these friends is 19, and we were all talking about what we were doing around this time when we were 19. Most people said things like their freshman year of college or starting a new job. That wasn't mine.

I'm so sorry. If I could take it all back, I would. I never meant to hurt you or cause you pain. I should've been stronger and more supportive. I'm sorry I couldn't be that person for you, but it was all so new and so soon. I'm sorry that when you needed me the most I distanced myself. I was a coward. You had to have been so alone and scared, and all I could do was worry about how it was hurting me. I didn't understand what you were going through and what's worse, I didn't try to. When things got bad and you lost hope I should've been there with hope enough for the both of us. I didn't uphold the promises I made. I wasn't strong enough for you. How could I give up so easily? How could I let it destroy what we had? You deserved more. You deserved compassion and understanding, not fear and criticism. You deserved what I just wasn't ready to give. This doesn't make it better. Nothing will. Nothing that I say now can fix it, but I want you to know that I'm sorry.

But I promise not to let it happen again. I'm prepared to take what I've learned from all of this and try again. I promise that the next time I make those promises with someone that I'll be ready to face whatever comes our way. I promise to get my priorities right. I promise to remember what happened here with us and to do better. You've made me a stronger person through this trial by fire, and I promise to show the next person how ready I am to make that commitment.