"Nothing can hold you back if you really want it."

Some things you might not have known about me:
I really like to work out - this results in the veins on my arms and legs popping out anytime my body gets warm. I call this the "Hulk Effect"
I'm afraid of birds. I hate how twitchy they are, and that they don't have pupils. They have soul-less eyes and are creepy.
I really hate going to the bathroom in a public restroom when one of the following occurs: the toilet seat is still warm from the last person who used it. there's pee sprinkles on the seat. the person a few stalls down from me is talking to themselves. there's that awkward silence where another person is in the bathroom, but it doesn't sound like they're doing anything because they're waiting for you to leave so they can take a Count Dooku.
I hate feet. They're disgusting. I hate that they're warm and moist. I hate that they grow hair. I don't like touching, smelling, seeing, or being near feet. Incidentally I love foot rubs.
I don't vote. Politics frustrate me, and I think they're very corrupt. Talking politics is the only time someone's opinion can be wrong.
I hate having nothing to do. I like to keep busy because when there's nothing to do I often get tv show theme songs stuck in my head.
I love green olives. When people ask me what my favorite food is they're often times shocked to find out it's green olives. They're also shocked to find that I don't like chocolate. Sick.
I'm consciously aware of the fact that it will never happen, but at the same time I'm positive I'm going to be "discovered" and be famous one day.
I still don't think your GF is good enough for you. She's going to hurt you again, but I understand why sometimes you have to let that happen.
I secretly wish that I were Lady Gaga. Not in the sense that I looked like her, or actually was her. I just want to be worshipped like her. I think that's fair.
I'm not a crafty/creative person, but I'm so super psyched to decorate my new house!!!
The end.
Didja learn a something new?

"I'm happy knowing you are mine."

WHAT!? She's writing a blog!!?!!
So when I said what I said about your gf it was a tad unfounded. You're correct, I have nothing to base that opinion on. What I meant was this: If she didn't realize how sensational you are the first time around, but all of a sudden wants your nuts...there's gotta be something wrong, and I'm a suspicious by-stander.
That is all.
I have a theory. It's a good one. All men are gay. All of them. Every one.
This is how I know:
I've noticed that the qualities men find most attractive in women are ones that are more masculine. i.e. a girl who works on a car, plays video games, likes burgers and steaks, plays the drums/bass guitar - all these things are smokin hot! When was the last time you heard a guy say, "I really like the way she paints her nails. Man! Look at her shop! I think it's so hot when she watches romantic comedies."
Don't lie to me, you've never heard that.
So my conclusion is the thing guys are really looking for is a girl as close to one of their "buddies" as possible. Why do they do this? So they can continue living their lives eating hot wings, watching sports on Sundays, and shooting people up in their GTA game. It's better than helping their significant other do their hair or makeup every day. These are not attractive things.
Why?
Parce que...all men are gay.
But this then raises the question about the guys that like to do feminine things. The definitive gay men. What's the difference between these two levels of bro-mosexuality?
Gay men that like women like the way they're shaped and their....*ahem* parts, but would really prefer is she were just one of the dudes.
Gay men that like men...like men. They get so caught up in what it is women do that they start to adopt some of their hobbies, mannerisms, and social trends. At this point they begin to forget that they're actually men, assume they're women, and revert to their instincts; looking for a companion with both chromosomes.
You don't have to agree. Yo se I'm right.

"Jinx me something crazy"

What happened to the role of a mother? What happened to women wanting to be a wife and mom? I was talking to someone the other day at work about how I wanted to be a stay at home mom when I grow up. This perplexed her. She said to me:
"But I have a baby and can work full time. Having both of our incomes means we can have everything we want."
What about what your child wants?
Is it strange that I don't want to work full time when I start a family?
I would rather have time to be at home. To cook and clean and take care of home things. I'd rather be able to be around to instill values and teach my children instead of relying on the world to do it.
Granted I am just me right now. I don't have a husband and I don't have kids. I have a dog, and I feel bad enough that I don't spend time with her!!
Being a mother could quite possibly be the most rewarding use of one's time. You get to be there for all their accomplishments and successes, and when your children are in need you will be available to love them until they can't stand it anymore.
Another ugly trend I see forming is parents who are more concerned with being friends with their kids than being the structure they need in those young impressionable years.
Be a parent to your child while they are young. Teach them, discipline them, praise them when they do well. If you do these things while they're young they will appreciate you for it when they're older. Then you can be their friend.
I see these parents that let their kids do whatever they want for fear that if they don't then their kids will be mad at them.
WHO CARES!?
They're kids. They're going to get mad and be over it in 3.25 minutes anyway. Kids have the emotional elasticity of a slingshot.
I don't understand it.
I read these articles online of children being paid to get good grades in school, and girls making pacts to get pregnant before graduation. Why are these children growing up so soon? Receiving income for hard work and being a parent are jobs for an adult. Most of the time adults aren't even mature enough to deal with these things.
Basically what I'm saying is...I hope I'm a good parent someday.

"Time is a gift given to you. Given to give you the time you need. The time you need to have the time of your life."

While I'm waiting for my movie to buffer I have thoughts.
I use this blog as a platform now and again to complain about things. Something I've grown weary of lately: Swearing.
Curse words. Profanity. Obscene expression. Expletives.
It doesn't matter how you dress it up; it all sounds the same.
I've heard people contend that this base creation is a form of expressing themselves. How insulting. I find it downright selfish. They're depriving the world (myself included) of beautiful vernacular. There are so many multi-syllable words out there dying to be used, and these people selfishly limit themselves to four lettered, one syllable words.
Words are beautiful. It's how we explain our feelings and relate to those around us. It's how we inform, converse, and unify ourselves with the rest of the world.
Curse words are brief, sharp, and not necessary.
These parsimonious word misers smell of decaying syllables as they let this loathsome refuse dribble from their mouths. Uttering these foul words creates a cacophony of mediocrity and causes those around you to believe you aren't capable of intellectual thought. True, I have heard some pretty creative uses of these words, and have found myself on occasion articulating my thoughts with a harsh word or two.
Why limit yourself to these petulant perversions of the English language when you have words like magnanimous, pervasive, affectations, and pretentious waiting dormant ready to decorate the simplest of sentences? It's limiting to your verbal growth and just plain distasteful.
This is my complaint.

"Though hope is frail it's hard to kill."

So I got a laptop, but what does this mean for yours truly? Well, I'll tell you how it's changed things thus far.
1. I spend an inordinate amount of time on "the book." So much time that I've started referring to it as "the book" (as you can see from my previous sentence). On the surface this is not a bad thing. However, I now know far more about people than I'd like to. I know that **Sarah and Tom are in a relationship, and **Mary found a new book to read during her free time. I know who went out and drank this weekend and who has the worst hangover. I know which of my friends got new jobs, promotions at old jobs, and laid off from the Dollar Store. I know who's engaged and who...well isn't. I've discovered many new friends, and I've become reunited with friends from elementary school. I've looked at most of your pictures, and I've definitely seen all of his.
As I type this I'm thinking...who else in this world spends....wastes hours of their life surfing "the book?" How many people know all these things about me? Who came up with the idea of publishing information of people on the Internet?
All of this thinking leads me to a conclusion. People are entertained by regular people. We don't really need actors and actresses. Don't get me wrong, they're nice, but think about the most watched TV shows out there: American Idol, The Amazing Race, So You Think You Can Dance...and a host of other reality TV shows. These shows are all about regular people (for the most part) like you and me. This is why we spend hours playing on Facebook. It isn't the Farmville or Mafia applications. We're just entertained by looking through dozens of embarrassing pictures of people we see every day. Facebook is the reality TV show of the Internet.

2. Youtube.com
Along with "the book" I spend a lot of time Youtube-ing ridiculous videos that people have told me about. I've seen amazing videos of children singing songs, funny cartoon animations that get annoying after the first 2 hits, and a plethora of embarrassing moments you could see on any episode of America's Funniest Home Videos. (Side note, no host of that show has ever come close to the glory and magnificence of Bob Sagat)

3. I spend all of my time at work on a computer. The last thing I want to do is come home and immediately get back on the computer. However, I find that owning a laptop is my scapegoat. It's like I'm cheating the system because it's portable. In reality it's the same, but the allure of being online in bed is just too much for me to avoid.

4. I refuse to stop calling it "the book."

So all in all I would say that owning this laptop has been a positive addition to my life. Sure it rules all my free time, and is turning me into an anti-social monster who reads her email and checks facebook updates every 5 minutes. I'd like to call it being well informed.
**Names and status' have been changed to protect the identity of Facebook users.

"I love to hear you whispering softly that you love me too."

Where to begin........
Ah yes, we'll begin with a cliche opening and turn to the dictionary.

flake n : a markedly eccentric person : ODDBALL

This is not exactly the definition I wanted...but now that I see it maybe it's a good thing as it's changed my mind on my subject.
Not that I would've said any names.
I'm amazed at people sometimes. Amazed. Occasionally I have to just stand in awe and applaud the moronic impudence of our race. The close-mindedness; the self-centered, self-loathing, self-deprecating mess of the human entity. The collective, inimitable mass that is humanity.
And yet...
There's that glimmer. There are those people that just radiate. I'm not talking about dirty, smelly people. The kind of radiate you want to be around. Those people that draw others to them, and leave the lucky few who get to know them feeling brighter and happier than before.
Why can't we all be like these people?
I, myself, am guilty of being part of that disgusting pile of poor personality putrescence mentioned above. Alliteration aside though, what can I do; what can WE do to become one of those people?
I see a few of them at church and a couple at work. Sometimes they're my servers at restaurants, and I've noticed them on rare occasion just walking down the street. They all have that smile. That smile that says, "I know I'm beautiful, but I use my beauty to make the world a better place." (Usually accompanied by stunning white teeth that probably cost thousands of dollars in orthodontics as pups.) They always have that effortless charm. They don't need to be center of attention when they're in a room, but by choice of their company are usually put in that position. Once all eyes are on them the rest of the room melts away. They always have the best stories and tell the funniest jokes. You know exactly who I'm talking about. It could be a class mate, a co-worker, a relative, or even your significant other (if this is the case hang on to them).
What makes these people this way?
Is it just an innate sense of confidence, perhaps passed down through the gene pool from great uncle Thomas who was once a Broadway performer?
Have they gone through some special boot camp or training program for how to be successful at existing no doubt run by some terrifying Fraulein who by the end of the day has traces of a 5 o'clock shadow?
Maybe it was a dare issued back in Junior High that went something like, "Kristina, I dare you to be sensational for the rest of your life."
What is it that makes these people desirable above all people!?
And if it's contagious how long do I have to spend time alone with them before I catch it?
Maybe if I work hard enough I can become one of those people. Then again, maybe it doesn't take work, maybe it just happens. Yet again, maybe it's only a chosen few people that have this gift, and I will be forever sans said gift because I was foreordained to be surly.
Whatever it is...I think if we had more of those people in this world things would run a lot more smoothly...also if there was even just one more David Hasselhoff...

"It's never going to be that simple."

I fell in love today.
Let's start at the beginning.
On Sunday my comrade, Danita, asked me if I would like to join her this Wednesday evening in feeding the missionaries. I agreed. So today I got into my car to drive to Danita's. On my way through OSU campus I noticed a variable influx of student population from the previous 3 week winter vacation ghost town. I pulled up at a stop light and there he was:
First, I noticed his face. He was wearing glasses that made him look charmingly nerdy. He had stunning features. Dark brown hair cut very spruce, and blue eyes I noticed from my car parked a few feet away.
Next, I checked out his attire. He was wearing a heavy tan, corduroy jacket and a perfectly fitting pair of expertly faded denim jeans. His footwear was a little less sensible for the 12 degree weather, but the fashionable slip-ons from Urban Outfitters worked for him.
He had a book bag. Obviously he was a student at OSU. I would wager he was about 23.
I considered rolling my window down and calling out to my fair-featured beau, but he had an IPOD firmly supplanted in his ears (probably listening to Ben Folds or Weezer...something cool like that).
The crosswalk beamed the walk signal across the street, and to my dismay Alex (this is what I decided his name was) began to walk. Time stood still. I tried to decide if it was worth it to drive through the red light consequently maiming him, and then in an act of unbridled heroism rushing to his injured side and offering a ride to the hospital. "It's the least I can do."
It could've been an epic love story.
But my 3 minute love saga came to an end as he reached the other side of the street and walked out of my life forever.
Where are you now Crosswalk Lover? Why must our love be forbidden? Will I ever see you again?