"I am feeling so ambitious."

:) Oh man. What a great Christmas. I love any time of the year that I get to spend with family and close friends. And to be honest with you I have the best in both respects. Granted, I would have enjoyed maybe a little more snow...considering there wasn't any...but hey, beggers can't be choosers. ;)
As for my mind r&r day...it went ok. I think I need another one. It ended a little abruptly due to outside forces (getting texts from confusing people). But this next one will be more successful. I just know it. And that day is today. What better day than one that I spend alone? It's my parents anniversary. They're old :) and still together...way to go Mom and Dad!
"I know it's not much, but it's the best I can do"

"Even in the darkness every color can be found."

"Here's the story of a girl, who grew up lost and lonely. Thinkin love was just a fairy tale and trouble was made only for me."

I've been so hurt in the past. Someone said to me the other day it doesn't sound like I've ever been in a functional relationship. I think they might be right. But the best part is, I have the chance to still someday do that. I've got a really good thing going for me right now that could lead to even better things. The only problem is I'm so paranoid and such a mess from everything in my past that it's very possible that I'm slowly on my way to screwing it all up. I don't know what's wrong with me. I need a day to just think. I need to turn my phone off and just figure things out. UGH. I need to slow my mind down. I over analyze things way too much. I think tomorrow I'm going to take a mind r&r day...yeah :)

"Just when you feel you've almost drowned you find yourself on solid ground. And you believe there's good in everybody's heart. Keep it safe and sound. With hope you can do your part to turn a life around. I cannot believe my eyes. Is the world finally growing wise? Because it seems to me, some kind of harmony is on the rise."

"Ouch. I have done it again. Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found."

There is someone very special in my life.
:)

"Like Cinderella I am transformed."

So I was at work last night, and the funniest thing happened. A customer wanted to buy a treadmill. This isn't the funny thing. It took me forever to find the trailer log as per usual. Again, not the funny thing. So I finally find the trailer log, and locate my treadmill I need. Wouldn't you know it there wasn't a manager to be found. One was on lunch the other was just unavailable to help me. By now about 20 minutes has gone past and my customer is waiting patiently, but he really should have his treadmill by now. So I did what I had to do to get that trailer unlocked. I go back there and run into David Goodrich. "Hey David want to help me with loading this treadmill onto this cart?"
David: "Ah I can't Valerie, I'm dealing with an angry customer..."
I continue asking several other associates for help who all respectfully decline.
....
If you're failing to see the humor in all this yet, it's because I haven't gotten to the real funny part.
So...little Valerie...all 126 lbs. of me decides to do it herself.
Here comes the funny...
So I manage to get the treadmill onto the cart. During the process I throw my back out. Ouch. I haven't quite felt anything like this before. I almost felt like every step I took someone was kicking me in the stomach. My journey was not yet over.
Far from it.
I wheel the treadmill to the front of the store and with a proud smile on my face inform the customer that "Here's your treadmill!" He just kind of glances at me and says, "Ok, let's pay for it then."
We approach the register; keep in mind every step I take is in excruciating pain. As a general rule at Dick's Sporting Goods associates don't let the customer push their heavy products...or load them into their cars...So I continue to push the cart out to the front of the store and wait to help load it into their truck.
To my surprise a manager shows up just in time to help load it. Luckily I didn't have to help load it or I would be in even bigger trouble with my back. So they get it all loaded and the customer drives away. I push the empty cart back into the store and tell the front end manager that I'm pretty sure I threw my back out. The response?
"Sucks to be you."
Wow. Thanks. So I continue on my way and put the cart back. I decide to stumble up the escalator to go take some pain pills. I get to the offices and find the IBUTab. I take two and head back downstairs. On my way down the escalator (that conveniently broke down and had to be taken like stairs) I get a page.
"Valerie, call 403."
The paging person looked up and saw me hobbling down the "stairs" and heads over to tell me "customers need your help." Really? You'd think that was my job... So I go over to help some customers. One needed a 70 lb MMA bag and the other needed an inversion table. Neither of which I can lift at this point. So I look around and see David Goodrich again. Surely he isn't still dealing with a customer, that was like an hour ago. My plea for help was ignored. Turns out he was too busy. Then, like a Godsend John Popenberg sees me and says, "Are you ok, Val?"
YOU BET I'M NOT!
Thank the Lord for John Popenberg. He helped the customer with the inversion table as I headed back to the trailers to get the punching bag. Again I was helped by a footwear associate who could see I was in pain. He helped me tons. (Thanks Stu) So as Stuart and I roll up with the MMA bag on a dolly, the font end manager walks past.
"Hey, I think I'm going to need to go home, my back is way messed up."
Manager: "Hm...that's tough. Sorry about your luck."
The punching bag customer sees this exchange and gets infuriated.
"He basically told you that it sucks to be you, huh?" Isn't it kind of sad when a customer is disappointed by the support the management gives me? (The answer is yes.)
To make a long story short, I got a hold of the store manager and he sent me home. I get home take a couple muscle relaxers and sit bemusedly on the couch. A couple of my friends show up to see how I'm doing. Great guys. :) So the three of us sit on the couch and they kept me company...even through my vomit session...cute.
To end the story on a hilarious note... I called in about an hour ago to let work know I probably won't make it in because my back is still hurting and I don't want to cause further damage.
Guess who answered the phone. Mister Front End Manager. I let him know that my back is pretty painful still and I won't make it to work at 4. His response?
"Great. You know work is really busy today, Valerie. Thanks a lot."
I apologize and get a "yeah." in return.
Sometimes I wonder why I still work there. Seriously, what's the point if I get treated like I'm a bad person for being left to my own devices helping a customer and get hurt in the process?
Are you laughing yet?

"Look around, we're living with the lost and found."

Those of you who know me well know that I have a strange affinity for the WWE. In particular Monday Night Raw. :) I was watching a DVD today of an old Pay-Per-View...and i realized something. I could be the best Diva ever. These girls have nothing on me! I've already got the body...and I could pretend to fall on my face...seriously I'd be good.

So I was searching for pictures of the lovely women from Monday Night Raw to put in this post...and I started to get a huge kick out of some of the things I came across...is it strange that I want to model my life after these odd, robust women? You bet it is. Would I be satisfied with my life if I gave it a shot? You bet I would :D

In short, if anyone wants to give my wrestling career a jump start I won't say no. Heck I'll even let you be my manager. You know, the guy that walks around behind the actual talent...riding their coattails...living off of them like a tick...a parasite...

I'm silly.

"Go on put your ear to the ground. You'll be hearing that sound."

I miss high school a little bit. Back when life wasn't so hard. Hanging out with my friends listening to Jupiter Sunrise or whatever was popular at the time. Going to the mall to window shop and loiter. Getting kicked out of the movie theatre for not actually buying tickets. :) Good times.
"With every look you give me I can't speak. My racing heart has the best of me. All these feelings drowning deep inside. I wish I could say what's on my mind. How it feels like the first time. I can't seem to get you off my mind. As emotions progressed I hoped you'd find, what I had known all of this time. And yet you're slipping fast away. I never thought it would end this way. Because it feels like the first time. I can't seem to get you off my mind. You say that we have forever. As long as we stay together. As you turn with a good-bye, and look into my hopeful eyes. You say you'll love me until the end. Now my heart's been broken with no defense. Now it feels like the first time. Your memory haunts my mind. You promised me forever and said that we would be together. With every look you give me I can't speak. You really had the best of me."

-The Defining Moment of Eleanor Rhoades

"My eyes are screaming for the sight of you."

:) I'm really happy. I've had so much lately to be happy about. My family is great. Church is great. Life in general...is just great.
I've recently spent a lot of time with my little sister, and I have come to an interesting realization. She's the coolest! We watch movies together, we go shopping together. Sometimes she comes with me when I have to run errands. She's turning into this beautiful woman and I'm getting to experience all of it. A year ago I was living in Utah and missing it. The most we would do is talk on the phone every once in a while. She's so cool!! I love that little girl to death. (And I think she knows it too) ;) I just want to make sure that I'm the kind of big sister she can look up to for guidance. It would break my heart if I did something that influenced her negatively. Someone recently told me that they can tell that she's glad I'm home. Goll, I hope so. We played these stupid games on the Kung Fu Panda DVD for a long while last night. And I mean a good. long. while! We were trying to become Kung Fu masters. Well we finished it (after about an hour or so) and to our surprise we didn't get any kind of gratification. NOTHING! No "Congratulations! You're a Kung Fu Master" certificate, no small celebration with a silly movie clip. NOTHING! What a rip off! But man, did we have a good time. That was all the reward I needed.
We also put up our Christmas tree last night as a family. It was a blast! We had silly Christmas music playing and we were dancing and singing! Hahahahaha. Man! I love my family. They're seriously the best. I've never been so close with them before...it's awesome. I feel so much love here. Looking back, I'm so glad I came home...Ohio is where it's at for me!

"Oh my starry eyed surprise."

It must be that time of year again...they've got the Christmas music playing at work. I saw a couple of my co-workers wearing santa hats. It's so funny because I caught myself complaining to a friend about how much I hate Christmas and the things that come with it. Then I realized...isn't Christmas all about Jesus' birth? Yeah. It is. (In case you were wondering) ;) It makes me sad that Christmas has become so commercialized that when I think about it I forget what it's really about.

I'm going to end this blog with a quote from the very funny Dave Barry:

"Well, the holiday gift-giving season is upon us once again, like an outbreak of shingles. Already I have received dozens of colorful mail-order gift catalogs urging me to buy bizarre objects and give them to people. I recently got a catalog featuring enormous cans of popcorn smeared with caramel, each containing enough carbohydrates to meet the needs of a medium-sized industrial city for a year. This is an example of a holiday gift, which is an object whose primary purpose is to be given, not actually be used. It expresses the ultimate holiday gift-giving message, which is, 'Look! I got you a gift!'"

"And that laugh that wrinkles your nose, it touches my foolish heart."

So I've decided I have mixed emotions about this whole "Thanksgiving" thing. ;)
Don't get me wrong. I love the food and the family atmosphere...
but gosh dang that Black Friday!
Holy Cow!
It was such a rough day. The thing is though, it was rough emotionally. All this emphasis was put on sales and warranties. They didn't care how you did it as long as you got your sale! It really makes you think twice about Thanksgiving because you know what's waiting around the corner.

Once the day is done and all the leftovers have been put away; once Dad is in a pumpkin pie induced coma in his favorite chair and Mom is loading up the dishwasher for the fifth time...it all sets in. You sit down and realize that in t-minus 6 hours you're going to be getting up to go to work at 3:30 in the morning. (Granted, I didn't work the opening shift, but I did have friends who did.) For the rest of us who get to sleep in until 10:00 a.m. the alarm is met with a certain amount of reproach. It's silenced as we pry ourselves from our warm covers. We march to the shower grudgingly...and even more angrily eat a mass of left-over mashed potatoes for breakfast. As you pull up to your place of employment you realize you're going to have to park all the way out by Factory Card Outlet and walk to the building in the dismal freezing rain. This is not a good omen. You open the door.
Lines to the escalators.
Product all over the floor.
Customers swearing at their misbehaving children, or even better, ignoring them.
Harried managers running around with torn receipts in their hands.
Footwear associates with a basketball in one hand and a fishing pole in the other.
A pile of treadmills, ping pong tables, and recumbent bikes all in line to be loaded into the eagerly waiting customers' mini-van. (Eager to escape this mass chaos.)
All the while a "merry" mix of classic Christmas carols jingling over head.
What a magical day.

Yes as I was standing at the front door of our store waiting to enter the building a familiar movie clip came to mind...
You know the one, where Forrest Gump gets shot in "the buttocks."
Was I going into Dick's Sporting Goods or 'Nam?