"I wish you'd hold my hand when I was upset."

I'm not really sure where to begin today...
Sunday was a great day. However, along with all the wonderful things that happened that day came a bit of unwanted news. It was definitely something I didn't want to hear, and didn't think I'd have to for a while. I'm not really dealing with it all that well. I'm left confused and feeling a little empty. I'm exhausted from putting up a happy front. The past three days I've acted like it's all okay. I don't want people to see that I'm really upset about it, but I'm not sure why. So here I am. Wednesday afternoon eating cold Chinese food, typing in my blog, and thinking about plans for salsa dancing lessons that might not happen. Saturday is looming on the horizon. I don't know how I'll handle Saturday. I will say though that I don't know where I'd be without two crucial things. The first: My Friends. There were several people that I talked to immediately following this bad news. They were all spectacular. One in particular was especially great at making me laugh. Thanks, D. It's so good to know that when I need them most my friends come through with flying colors. The other person that really helped me through the first little while was of course the Lord. It's also of great comfort to me to know that no matter my problem if I get on my knees and pray that all my emptiness will be filled with a warm reassurance that someone loves me no matter what.
So basically the topic of my blog today is that I don't know how to express what I'm feeling. Part of me wants "it" back. Another part knows that I don't need "it" to be happy.
Then there's Saturday...
Oh Saturday.
Maybe if I go out into my yard and sing about rainbows my house will be picked up by a twister...hopefully I'll end up in a magical technicolor world where all I have to worry about is witches and trees that throw apples. I think I could handle that...